Game Plan

I’ve been chat at length with Dr. Bauer. We shared “what if” questions and built a plan. It is quite a relief to know how what we’re trying to accomplish.

Several pieces of the conversation were positive, but I’m not always PollyAnna. Another treatment or two may not lead me out of the woods. I have very serious cancer metastasis in my liver. At the same time, losing hope and assuming none of the treatments will work is a bad idea, and I’m hopeful…positive…appreciative of all the love and support that I receive from so many people.

Cancer cells cannot live without significant blood flow. The flow to my liver doesn’t follow a traditional pattern. If all of us had multiple diagnostic tests, like mine, we’d find that many of our livers have “curious” anatomy and blood flow patterns. Not bad, just different. What is clear about mine is that we need to define the blood sources for each lesion/tumor so that we can appropriately apply the correct weapons.

To more fully track this anatomy, an angiogram will be done in the last week of September. I’m fortunate to be fighting very slow-growing lesions. There are those with a history similar to mine who’d have to drop everything and do this work tomorrow….because of the aggressive nature of the cancer cells they are hosting. Mine are perhaps more tenacious, but slow. Attention must be paid, but not tomorrow.

Shortly after the angiogram, I’ll chat with Dr. Bauer again. He’ll recommend either the return to the chemotherapy-infused pellets, or the beads infused with radioactive agents—nuclear weapons. The downside of the chemotherapy pellets is that they have already rambled through my liver, bumping into capillary walls and causing damage to healthy cells as well as the bad ones. That was natural, and to be expected. There is a limit to how much rambling of this sort anyone ought to be able to tolerate, and I may be reaching that limit.

The radioactive beads are MUCH smaller, and would do less physical harm. Although this may seem blunt, it is true…these are all very powerful poisons. The likelihood of damaging healthy liver cells is higher with the chemotherapy than it is with the radioactive beads because of the transport mechanism. Sooner or later, every cancer patient is faced with the phrase “It is now time to be concerned about the patient organism, and not just the cancer lesions.”

Shortly after the angiogram, I’ll have the procedure that projects the best available outcome. Right now, we assume that’s the radioactive beads, but won’t know for sure until then. My personal plan is to take October off and see how I recuperate, likely to return to work sometime in early November based on the results. I simply can’t juggle work and this medical stuff at one time, there is no reason to even try. I responded well with the time off in the spring, and expect the same outcome.

This is long, and may not be wonderfully positive. It is comforting to know there is a plan, though, and we march ahead.

Next up: Do Nuclear Weapons make me glow in the dark?