We All Wait

I was thinking at lunchtime that several folks might want an update, and are frustrated waiting. It helped me understand just how much I hate waiting around, wondering what the next steps will be.

Some people think it silly that I don’t care much about the wait time between diagnostic tests and the visit with the doctor that comes with the diagnostic explanation. “Don’ t you want to schedule them right away so you’ll know what’s going on?” “How can you wait over a weekend to learn of the results?”

The difference for me is that the results will be whatever they’ll be. Getting the news faster doesn’t change the message, and trust me…it isn’t like any of this stuff is very far from my thoughts whether I’ve recently been through some test or not. So another couple of days to learn of results has never bothered me. When I get the news, I get the news. No need to worry any more/less, or speed up the process.

Anyone who knows me even the least bit, though, knows what a planner I am. Not having a plan makes me feel empty, lost, confused. Right now, I have no plan. Dr. Bauer has tried to call, we’ve played a little tag. He was compassionate and concerned in his message, and agrees that there is no reason to schedule a “consult” in person. We know each other well and can discuss options over the phone with curiosity and candor. We both know we need dates, a plan, some targets, and we simply have to connect in our telephonic worlds to build the plan.

I apologize that I can’t yet share a plan with you, and realize it has been more than a week. The planner in me is working hard to be patient, to understand that in a few days I’ll know exactly how my autumn season will look. For now, all I can say is that I know where I’ll be staying for commencement in Valparaiso and Maryland, and that’s in May…!