One more posting?

With a visit to the oncologist scheduled for early September, I'm thinking this will be a short update and then I'll finish after that visit is held. I feel really well, I know how supported and loved I've been, and things are going well at work. It is time to "get some docs written" and not use the cancer card as an excuse for production.

The feelings are returning to my fingers and toes, but slowly in the last week or so. I seem 'stuck' at the current level, without much progress. The weirdest part is the bottoms of my feet, which still seem as though I'm walking on wet socks all the time. Not cold, not sweaty....just wet.

Taste buds are good, I can tell the difference between bad tequila and good. Friends helped me party over the weekend, and we had a blast. Some surprises put lumps in my throat, as when Carrie and Steve walked in on Saturday afternoon...and then Curt & Polly brought their daughters at night. Those nice folks (in all) put six people in airplanes for a trip of less than 24 hours to come see us all. Amazing, simply amazing. Still gives me goosebumps, and will for quite awhile.

Otherwise, no worries...

"...I'd rather die while I'm living than live like I'm dead...."
JBuffett...

The Journey....an ending...

Here's hoping that some few readers are still out there. All I can ask is that you've watched this journey with support and recognition that others have faced more difficult challenges than I. From seeing people return to chemotherapy after several years' grace, to learning that people like Tom will be sitting in their seats, weekly, for the rest of their lives...to watching little Becky conquer her demons...I'm a very lucky guy. When people like Phil have to miss a session and "something is wrong" one learns quickly that HIPAA wasn't meant for cancer patients. We care about each other, we want to know how someone is doing, and we want to know that they'll be well. Thankfully, when I left on Wednesday, everyone was indeed well.

Today, as the saying goes, is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm recovering nicely from the 12th session, it has not been as difficult as the 11th. Part of that, very honestly, is the lonely road I traveled when Judy and Carrie were in Africa. Judy's support and helpful comments allowed me, all the way along, to stay sane and upright. The other big difference was the removal of the oxaliplatin, the drug in my three-drug cocktail that kept me from drinking cold beverages.

Staying hydrated and flushing the toxins from my system is critical to the way I've recovered this week. That drug caused the numbness in my fingers, neuropathy which could prove difficult over time. So taking it out accomplished two things...it helped me hydrate better and reduced the anxiety I've had over losing the sense of touch...or taste...or concern for very cold weather. It may take awhile for all that to recover completely, but the decision to reduce the drug intake was a good one, and made my week much easier to accomplish.

No one can measure the fun of answering the phone to have a Fubarian brother leaving the golf course: clearly "infused" with his own mixed cocktail. Whether that's Billy, or Steve, or any of the other brethren...they have been a joy forever, and a special gift over the last six months. Who knew, when we were playing dodgeball in sixth grade, that we'd be on the phone to each other with sayings like "Gee, Bill...I'm not sure what to say about that...how can I help?" or as Billy mentioned the first time I told him..."Marky, I've never had to talk about this before...Are you sure you're going to be OK? What would you like me to do?" We've all grown up together, but years like we've experienced these past twelve months or so have turned us into adults. When we gather, and act like we're in junior high, no one will ever understand. Just the Fubarians, who can walk into a hotel room, open an ice chest, and feel as though they've been talking for hours....instead of apart for the past 18 months.

I'll probably post one more time. Right now, I'm so happy that it is hard to keep still, and I want to go on writing forever. But that would get boring, I'd get too sentimental, and all the little comments I've received would go for naught. Thanks, more than you can know, for the chance to share these past six months with you. I'm better. I'm healthy. I miss my kids, just like any other parent. On Monday, I start rebuilding my stamina and regaining my exercise regimen. Vickie leaves for college on Wednesday, and opens a new journey for herself. I learn to adjust to an empty nest, and look for the next phase of all our lives to open...We have a wedding to plan. We have classes to finish. We have doctors to impress and new staff members to train. What a world we live in...nothing is constant, nothing is predictable, but nothing keeps us from moving forward.

Nothing....

Finally!! Finally????

Today, at 9 am, session twelve begins. When this six month journey began today seemed so far away. Then, with the difficulties of session 11, I spent the last few days thinking I didn't really want this week to get here. Today, I'm resolved, rested, and just wanting to get it OVER.

A wonderful weekend this week with friends at Rotary, Judy and I getting lots of time together as she's gathered herself from the big trip to Africa...and of course time catching up with Steve and Billy. Those guys are champions...sticking around through the bottom of the ninth inning, making sure that I can last and keep my humor up. Plans continue for the Tail-end Party...the music is arranged, the beer is in the garage....Yard and home clean-up remain, as does the need to gather food. No need to do that part now, though, so this week I'm settling into a preparation mode for Thursday. I figure if I manage my way through Thursday, even if Friday is crappy I'll know I'm on the climb back to being ok.

Interestingly enough, I'll finish this week and then not see Dr. Chang for nearly a month. I guess he's expecting the neuropathy to stick around nearly that long, and wants to visit in September to see how it has gone. Aside from the finger numbness, that's also what affects my taste buds (of course those are nerve endings) so food has taken on the role of "chore" these days. Nutrition is important, but nothing tastes good at all.

With this leg of the journey coming to a close, I'm sure I'll start being happier instead of cranky, and relaxing back into a schedule that lets me work every week instead of basically alternating. I'll even be able to play some golf without feeling guilty, since missing work for illness AND golf seems a little overboard. So there are a couple of tournaments to hit between now and the end of the month. And if the Fubarians can get over for the Party, we'll have to find somewhere to play, too. I'm not sure if Bushwood is ready for Bobby, Kelly, and Billy...

I'll keep y'all posted on how the week progresses, but don't plan any special times. No telling how I'm going to feel...All I know is that by Saturday I'll feel WONDERFUL!!